


Diplomatic Immunity

by DragonflyxParodies



Series: Capricorn [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Gotham City Sirens (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Under the Red Hood, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: (s), Adopted Sibling Relationship, Bad Parenting, Bruce Wayne Is A Shit Dad, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family, Family Drama, Jason is a troll, Marriage, Multi, Oliver Queen Is A Shit Dad, Other, Outer Space, Polyamorous Marriage, Sibling Love, Space Politics, and discussions/hints of it, diplomatic immunity, parental neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-22 00:22:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14925833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonflyxParodies/pseuds/DragonflyxParodies
Summary: The Outlaws get hitched (thanks to Cass). Jason trolls Dick. Tim deals with an enraged Bruce and a League that wasn't aware Jason was even alive.Part of an AU series in which Jason's homecoming Does Not Go Well, and he basically adopts Damian.





	Diplomatic Immunity

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [happy couple(s)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875184) by [fantasticfours](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasticfours/pseuds/fantasticfours). 



> So while the AU has been in the works for a while, the specific situation was kind of inspired by happy couple(s) by wwwlw!  
> Come harass and/or commission me on [tumblr](https://dragonflyxparodies.tumblr.com/)

               As the wise older sister, Cassandra knows more than any of her siblings realize – and she keeps special tabs on Jason, because he needs all the extra love she can give him. So she notices _immediately_ when things start to change, and as such promptly starts meddling in the way only an older sister could. She has help, of course. Damian, sneaking advertisements into his parents’ things, Lian’s sudden dedication to being a space-hero like her Mama.

It takes three months, but she is particularly proud of the outcome – it was worth every minute of waiting.

It starts when the Outlaws begin to drift. Job-wise, of course. Jason had to relocate to Gotham semi-permanently, both to take care of his people and to raise the boy Talia dropped into his lap. Kori decides to go on the biggest trafficking-busting binge Cassandra has ever seen all across the globe. And Roy starts taking jobs that are more on the up and up, working to clear some of the mud from his name for Lian’s sake.

Jason and Roy go public two weeks later, though Gotham had been whispering about it long beforehand. A photograph goes viral ( _Thank you, Oracle),_ of the two of them standing on some crates in uniform – Jason in just a domino, his helmet tucked under one arm – sharing a filthy kiss. Batman is immediately _furious_ , which is Cass’s first big snag, but she doesn’t let it slow her down.

Because, if anything, the picture makes Jason’s popularity with Gotham’s people _skyrocket_. The internet loves it. Jason preens like the bird he is, shows up _in person_ at the next pride rally to politely inform the mayor that if the man ever wants to sleep soundly again, he’ll support his constituents, and Cass paints his helmet rainbow for June. He wears it proudly until he has to blow it up, but lets Cass put a sticker on the back of his next helmet, one that matches the little pin she put on her utility belt.

And the people of Crime Alley – they especially love it. Jason’s the first mask to really care about them, to put them first, to make them a _priority_. Most of his money is fed back into the community, and he cares for his people in a way no other crime boss has _ever_. He’s set up food banks, soup kitchens, shelters, housing. Ivy even helped set up a couple community gardens, and Harley helped fix up some of the local parks. So his employees, the people he protects – they jump on it, because they finally have something they can do to support the Red Hood.

A week later, she hits her second big snag. A picture of Roy and Kori kissing goes viral, and Roy’s next visit to Gotham is met with a _much_ chillier reception. People get confused, angry. She squeals because they’re so protective of Jason, so worried that the man he loves is cheating on him – she’s _so_ glad he’s found such genuinely good, loyal friends.

That takes her to two and a half months in, when Bruce absolutely loses his mind after Jason creates a Twitter account solely for the purpose of complaining about people who don’t know what polyamory or pansexuality is. Cassandra sends congratulatory flowers, and Kori thanks her herself. Jason picks fights with everyone from internet trolls to politicians, to a _church_. That’s when her third snag hits, because she finds Tim panicking in a way he hasn’t since their family drama had begun to calm down, because he’s never seen Bruce so angry and Tim had wanted to tell Bruce about his own identity.

She gives Tim extra cuddles, lets him cry on her shoulder before dropping him off at Stephanie’s for a week, because Steph has the words to tell him _that’s not why B’s angry, dumbass, look at me and Cass_ , and she doesn’t.

And then she’s done it, it’s all over, _mission successful._ Kori has to go back to Tamaran for a short visit, and when the kids find out they demand to go too. Kori loves the idea, just like Cass knew she would, and between Lian’s exuberance and Damian’s determination and the separation the three had endured for the past three months, the boys cave quickly.

They’re gone for a week, and it takes three days after their return before they tell anyone. Sort of.

Cass is still proud.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dick nudged open the door to the interrogation room, took two steps inside, and stopped dead.

It took him a very long time to process what he saw. Jason, in full Hood getup, a pair of broken handcuffs resting on the table in front of him. Covered in ash, _reeking_ of smoke, and –

“ _Oh my fuck.”_

Dick spun on his heel ( _holy shit holy shit holy_ shit) and found another officer standing behind him, arms folded across her chest.

“He asked for you.”

“ _Technically_ I asked for Officer Sexypants! I don’t care how fine this guy’s ass is, his nametag says Grayson, _not Sexypants!”_ Jason shouted, a little louder than strictly necessary.

Dick was going to fucking _stab_ Jason. As soon as this was…

“I thought I was questioning a perp in a _drug bust!?”_

It takes approximately thirteen minutes of flailing and confusion to figure out that somebody had given Dick the wrong files. His superiors chose to send him in anyway, though, after they gave him a _brief_ rundown of what had happened.

Jason had been caught because he’d rescued some kids from a trafficking operation. He’d shot and killed every thug in and around the warehouse and then their boss. As it turned out, most of the kids had been sold _by police officers_ , and refused to go with them when the GCPD arrived. They _also_ refused to stop clinging to Jason.

Dick suspected that Jason had gone to make sure the kids got into the system alright, which wasn’t all that reassuring – but _what were they supposed to do now?_

“So.”

“ _So.”_ Jason said, his shit-eating grin _audible_ , though he hadn’t taken his hood off.

Dick cast a glance at the interrogation room’s window, lifting his shoulders.

“You confessed to the crimes.”

“Fuck no. Y’all caught me red-handed. I admit I killed them fuckers. They were _traffickers_. And they were dealing in _kids_. That’s two outta my big three ‘shit-I’ll-kill-ya-for’ list.”

Well _that_ was news. Dick hadn’t realized he had a _list_.

“What’s the third one?” He found himself asking.

Jason cocked his head.

“Rapists. ‘N anyway, had to figure out which one a’ya fucks sold the kids in the first place. ‘S that Winston fuck, and his partner, by the way.”

There was a beat of silence, and Dick expected to be yanked out of the interrogation, but no one knocked on the door. He waited another moment before continuing.

“You’re going away for life, for—”

“Bullshit. You can’t tie me to _shit_ except what I just fucking said. And it’s not like you can charge me.”

“What.” Dick deadpanned, and Jason whipped his hands dramatically at the door, pointer fingers extended.

“I made a call.”

Dick had no idea how the hell that asshole had timed it so damn perfectly. The door flew open so hard that it cracked the brick. Standing in the doorway, looking angrier than Dick had ever seen her, was Kori.

“ _Three days.”_ She hissed, hair sparking and flaming like a goddamn torch. Dick could see a couple of his fellow officers, eyes as wide as saucers and faces pale, over her shoulders. She was floating an inch off the ground.

“To be fair, this was supposed to be my wedding gift to you. It just kinda got…uh, complicated.”

That seemed to throw her for a minute, and all at once the violence in her body just…drained away, as her feet touched the ground. Jason stood up, and Dick hopped up, throwing an arm out when Jason moved to go over to her.

“Wait a—look, you’re being held on twenty-three counts of _murder_ , you’re not—”

Kori stared at him expressionlessly while he talked, but then sparked to life. Realizing that Dick was in uniform, not costume. That they were in a police station, not a rooftop.

“I am Koriand'r of Tamaran, and you are currently in violation of the intergalactic treaty _your_ Justice League has forged with my people.” She spat acid and ice, raising her chin as her eyes blazed green. The grin playing at her lips was genuine, if barely there.

For the third time that day, Dick found himself at a loss for words.

“For what?” He finally croaked out.

“ _That_ is one of the Royal Consorts of the High Queen of Tamaran, and as per my planet’s agreements with yours, subject to diplomatic immunity as one of my spouses!”

“I’m fucking _royalty,_ bitch!” Jason crowed, and Dick just…stared.

“What.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bruce was in a meeting at the League when he got the call. Considering half the room had super-hearing or were telepathic, there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in _hell_ that it would’ve been kept under wraps.

Tim, standing at his shoulder, started internally screaming the minute Bruce picked up.

“Can this wait?” Bruce opened, holding out a hand to stop Flash mid-sentence, even as his expression pulled into one of concern.

Martian Manhunter’s eyes shot to Tim’s face, and Tim managed a weak almost-smile. They shared a brief moment of peace.

“ _He did what?!”_

The snarl scared the shit out of Tim, made him jump half a step back and start reaching for his staff as Bruce shot to his feet.

Green Arrow started to grin, a slow, wide smile spreading across his face. Bruce noticed immediately, gaze shooting to Oliver. With a dawning sense of dread, Tim realized Oliver knew – and Roy would have _never_ told him, which meant _somebody had been stalking._

“I’m going to fucking _kill you_.” Bruce snarled, slamming the phone onto the table so hard it broke, and all hell broke loose.

Tim dove onto the table, between the two of them, and Clark snagged Bruce by the waist. Diana put a hand on Oliver’s shoulder, pulled him halfway behind her.

The other not-sidekicks in the room looked spooked as all hell, not that Tim could blame them.

“Okay, and you _wonder_ why he didn’t tell you?” Tim shouted, cutting Bruce off mid-threat, and _absolute_ silence descended.

“You _knew?!”_

He’d never heard Batman sound so fucking _angry_ before.

“He’s my _brother_.”

“You’ve aided a _criminal!”_ Bruce roared, already pulling at Clark’s hold on him.

“Jason’s _not_ your son! You’ve made it _abundantly clear_ you’d rather he be dead right now. And for once in his damn life he’s _happy_. He’s got a fucking family that actually _cares_ about him – his siblings, his kids, his moms, his _spouses._ So forgive me for wanting him to have _somebody_ who wouldn’t leave him dying on a fucking rooftop!” Tim shouted back, and Bruce froze.

And, _oh_ , _fuck_ , that wasn’t supposed to –

But the absolute mind-numbing _terror_ swamping him, leaving him shaky and uncertain and _frightened of his own damned father_ wasn’t enough to drown out his own anger, his own hurt. Because if Bruce was willing to abandon the son that had died for him, why would Tim be any different? Why couldn’t Bruce just let Jason be _happy?_ Because out of any of them, out of _any of them_ , Jason deserved it.

“And _you—_ wipe that fucking smile off your face. After what _you_ did to Roy, it’s a goddamn miracle he’s still fucking _breathing!_ ” He added, whipping his head around to glare at Oliver. The asshole seemed genuinely surprised by the attention, looked like he might’ve protested if Diana’s grip on him hadn’t suddenly tightened to the point where it was clearly painful.

“He killed _twenty-three people_ today alone. And now he gets to just _walk_.”

“Like you let the Joker?” Tim snapped back, and Bruce recoiled like he’d been slapped.

“What is going on?” Barry demanded, vibrating so hard he looked like he was glowing. Tim stared at him a moment, suddenly speechless.

 _They didn’t know_.

_Please._

J’onn stood, and cleared his throat.

“Don’t you fucking—” Oliver never got to finish his sentence – Dinah kicked him in the stomach so hard he doubled over, wheezing for breath. She looked pissed too, and Tim started to shake. A hand on his back damn near made him scream, but it was just Superboy, pulling him into a one-armed hug.

It became infinitely harder not to cry.

“Jason Todd is alive. Has been, for some time. Batman neglected to tell us this because he is currently the Red Hood, mercenary and crime lord of Gotham.”

“It’s none of your business.” Bruce tried, growling as he ripped out of Clark’s hold.

“He got married to Kori and Roy. On Tamaran. He’s now effectively untouchable, _not that he wasn’t already_.” Tim spat out, but he couldn’t bring himself to lift his head from Kon’s shoulder.

“Diplomatic immunity.” J’onn said gravely.

“Why the hell does that matter? Tim’s right – Bats or not, Red Hood’s not only successfully fucked with all of you and stayed off the grid, he’s got the support of damn near every criminal organization we deal with. Even if we _were_ to catch him, he’d never be sentenced.” Kon asked derisively, and Tim had never been more grateful for him, his presence, his comfort.

“That’s – “

“The Red Hood has been active for _two and a half years_.” Diana hissed, the raw fury in her voice enough to shake Tim’s bones.

He looked up to see her shove Oliver into the wall behind them and step up onto the table, move past them until she was towering over Bruce.

“He’s a criminal, a murderer, and a _drug lord_.” Bruce’s voice was rote, cold.

“ _Two and a half years!_ You knew he was alive and didn’t tell me!? Tell _any_ of us?! _You weren’t the only one to lose him!”_

And Bruce – he _grabbed for his fucking belt._

Tim dug his fingers into Kon’s chest so tightly he half feared he might draw blood, but in an instant they were gone – a blur, and Kon was setting him down next to the bank of zeta tubes in the common area.

He couldn’t – he focused in on his breathing, repeating one of the exercises Alfred had taught him as Kon shuffled him out of the Watchtower and down to earth. Sank into Kon’s chest the minute they were there, and let him whisk him off to wherever.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kon asked eventually, and Tim lifted his head to see them hovering over the Lexcorp tower in Metropolis. Kon floated lower slowly, keeping Tim pressed against him.

Lex would come up eventually, to see if they were alright. He was – despite everything – the best father Tim had ever known. He genuinely _cared_ about Kon, and by virtue of their friendship, even Tim. He didn’t pry, didn’t judge, had even cooled it on some of his more insane activities since Kon-El had come into his life.

“He let Jason die. Not – not the first time. When he came back. Jay asked him to choose between him or the Joker, and Bruce chose the Joker. He…I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but he cut Jason’s throat. And left him to bleed out in a building he knew was rigged to blow. He didn’t come back for him. And he never told us.”

Kon stiffened, went rigid like steel. Tim had never told him, never told _anyone_ outside of the Bats. And maybe Stephanie, but she counted as a Bat now, what with her and Cass.

“But he won’t – he refuses to just _let him go_. Jason tried. I mean, with us. With Bruce. He had his own mission, but he wanted family. B refused him at every attempt, launched this weird fucking crusade to hunt him down and make him pay, _and still_ tries to control Jason’s life. I mean – fuck – _Harley_ even ditched the Joker after what happened! She _murdered him_ because she realized she and Ivy had a second chance to do things right! Alfred cried for _days_ when he found out – and Bruce can’t, _won’t_ , do anything.”

“How’s he alive?”

His heart ached, at Kon’s question. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve a friend like Kon, who asked the kind of questions Tim _could_ answer. He’d known about Jason – they’d met a while ago – but Kon had never pried before. Now that it was out there it didn’t matter, and as painful a topic as it was, it kept Tim’s mind off Bruce. About what Bruce might do to him. To Robin.

“The Sirens. Harley was tracking down whoever kidnapped the Joker, and Selina recognized Jason. Ivy…restarted his heart. She’s got…I don’t want to call it magic, but, she’s connected to nature, y’know. Helped to heal him.”

“Does Batman fuck with you at all?” Kon’s voice was gravely, rough in a way Tim had never heard before, and he flinched.

“…Not like…not like you’re thinking. It’s – outside of Bat business and the company, we don’t really… _talk_ , I guess. Dick used to yell at him about it, before Jason came back, but he never…it’s fine. He’s too busy attacking Jason to bother being any more of an asshole than he usually is. I mean, he’s more pissy about it when I hang out with Jason than he is when Cass or Dick do, but…I think he’s focused on Damian too, right now. The kid wants nothing to do with him, and he isn’t taking that well.”

“So he just, what, ignores you?”

Tim shrugged.

“Anyway, I’m happy Jay’s married. I— _shit,_ can we…go let them know? The last thing he needs right now is Bruce to break into his house to bitch at him or something, and…the League’ll be right on B’s heels.”

Kon nodded slowly.

“I should…congratulate them myself, huh? Well – maybe it’ll take a while. Not like Wonder Woman’s gonna let Batman out of there without a broken bone or anything. You can crash with me tonight – Dad’ll be over the moon about it.”

Tim snorted in amusement, felt the tension coiled in his chest ease as Kon readjusted his grip.

He was still fucked, when he went back to the manor – he had no illusions about that. But Jay was…everyone was offering support. Had been for a while, but this would throw everyone into an overprotective _rage_.

“Alright.” He whispered. Kon grinned at him.

And when they reached the Outlaw’s base, Damian only tried to kill Kon _once_.

Maybe, Tim caught himself thinking, maybe everything would work itself out.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so okay I don’t know if the ‘Bruce Wayne’s A+ Parenting’ tag is sarcastic or not because I’ve seen it used both ways but like, he makes me want to scream. I haven’t read much of the Arrow fam ‘cept for RHATO, but that also made me fucking scream. WHY ARE YOU SUCH SHITHEADS YOU DON’T DESERVE CHILDREN. AND ITS NEVER FUCKINg ADDRESSED. Granted the whole retconning thing fucks with it too but like, STAHP PLEASE.
> 
> Sorry for the overload of like, angst??? I get the fandom is drowning in it, but here have some MORE.
> 
> This is part of a series/AU I’m working on. Following Jason’s return, Talia decides that if she can’t trust Bruce with the son he does know, she can’t with the son he doesn’t – so Jason kind of adopts a 9 yr old murder baby (Damian) while hooking up with/figuring out relationship drama with the Outlaws. Ivy, Harley, and Selina also Mom him to death and the Batkids are generally very protective/okay with him, while dealing with Bruce Being A Dick.
> 
> TO BE CLEAR: Tim’s afraid of Bruce yelling/taking away Robin/trying to ground him/being a Controlling Dick. Not physical abuse, not that that makes it better. Just worried some a y’all might jump the gun on that, a little bit lol.


End file.
